Tuesday, December 29, 2009

rumination and dreams, part 1

I am surely not alone spending these quiet days after the holidays thinking about life, aspirations, and dreams. I still have lots of immediate work to do - preparing for two upcoming group shows with Fiber Transformed, finishing up the end-of-year book keeping, and readying the online shop for a hopefully busy spring. Yet there is a subtle restlessness setting in, with an urge to clarify an spell out what I want to achieve this upcoming year.

I am 48 years old, with one son ready to leave the nest and the other one well on his way on the slippery road of teenagehood. For the last couple of years I am pursuing my art full time, which makes me feel privileged and lucky. But the truth is that I still work way to much, often on things that I don't feel that passionate about, and that my house, garden, pets, and sometimes my family suffer because of it. Also, despite the long hours, I am nowhere near making a substantial contribution to our family finances. My business is self sustained, but there is not much else to spread around.

In an ideal world I would be in my studio from 9 - 3 every day, delving into one creative project after another. Buyers would be ready to snatch up my work as soon as it was finished, and pay me handsomely for it... The rest of my days would be spent with my boys, cooking scrumptious meals, cleaning, weeding, and organizing my linen closet... My weekends would be devoted to family time, long walks, and dinner with friends.

To off-set this unrealistic vision, I am working on some baby steps that hopefully will bring me a bit closer to a meaningful, productive and more prosperous existence, such as less wholesale orders, gallery representation for my art, more and better marketing, and hired help. Details to come...

The images are from my studio – where happiness continue to happen. Best wishes for the new year. Happy new decade!


  1. Thank you for your blog - I always enjoy reading. And, I love the bit of calm and peace that seeing your work imparts on my day. Your pieces are so lovely.

    Thank you for your entry today - I think many artists/artisans feel this way. Thank you for sharing.
    I hope the coming year brings you many wonderful gifts and opportunities.

    With best wishes.

  2. we saw the movie 'a serious man' this year and the main thing i took from it is that life is never all buttoned up as we try so hard to make it. life is always changing no matter how hard we try to get a handle on it.

    i feel better knowing that and a little bit less pressured to figure it all out. i'm kind of in the processing stage of that concept and what it will mean going forward. it would be nice to embrace it even a little bit.

    i enjoyed your reflections and honesty. working for yourself does make creating schedules difficult, especially when you're wearing multiple hats. there's always so much to do. your studio is so light and airy and i'm looking forward to part 2.

    happy new year, lotta!

  3. Thanks for these reflexions. I am 34 going to 35 and lately I have bein thinking lot about what I managed to do. Nearly all my friends are mothers, I was left by my boyfriend in summer and now I am trying to find out my way. I would like to find a bit more time for me.
    Everytime we stop and think about our lifes, always is there something we would like to do or have done better. There are things we can control and those are the ones in which we can work, but others are out of control, and we have nothing to do but addapt.
    I wish you a great and successful new year. Full of work, time with your family and friends and a smile everymorning when you go running with friends.
    Best wishes

  4. Lovely Lotta! Time for a little phone chat - soon?

    Wishing you and your family a fun, creative, happy and healthy 2010!

    Much fondness,


  5. Lotta -
    Very interesting reading your post today....I'm in a very similar spot. I agree, with the change of the year/decade it prompts a lot of self-reflection and planning.

    The last few months I have been happily busy, yet working also like a bit of a factory worker. I have also been searching for a way to balance creative freedom and a realistic business model. I have a new plan and the new year will tell me if it will make me internally happy and on the road to prosperity at the same time ;) I guess that is what all of us artists want?!

    Happy New Year to you and your family :)

  6. I appreciate your honesty - and completely understand how it would be so ideal to work less and spend more quality time with our families - I wish you a wonderful and prosperous new year and look forward to your new adventures.

  7. A very thought-provoking post Lotta and one that I take seriously being much farther behind on the creative business journey from where you are writing.

    I wish you a wonderful, productive, successful, balanced and creative new year! I look forward to going along via your blog. :)

  8. Oh I forgot I wanted to say I truly enjoyed seeing your studio and where you create your beautiful art.

  9. Wonderful post, as always. Love the views of your studio. I pray your New Year holds all of the things you hope for, and more. Blessings.

  10. Wow Lotta - your thoughts echo mine almost exactly - reaching certain ages, teenager coming up to almost independent age, art work needing more time spent on it, not bringing in a substantial household income! However, I look to you as an inspiration and someone who is further down the road than me so I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for all you have achieved so far. I look forward to seeing what your future plans are and more of what you have been doing already.
    Jacqui x

  11. I can relate to almost all of what you have said, I find myself in a similar situation, but not as far along as you with focus and product dev. re: my work. Best of luck to you as you sort it all out. I really really love your work, the leaves are so gorgeous as are the patterns you create. You are very skilled with tonality and graphic design!

  12. ohmy, you read my mind, too!
    (and i want my office to look just like your studio!)
    i'm going through such a similar balance/bind at this moment and working on making the right choices for the right paths...

  13. Thanks for sharing Lotta, I'm another one juggling textile art, family, garden and other responsibilities... Hard to concentrate on any one task, but LIVET LEKER! Ha de sÄ bra. Maria


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